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One More Thing: The Lover

June 19, 2018


It’s a trap!


You can't escape it.  Almost every man I know has been hypnotized and lost their minds to the siren song of the Beauty.


It’s so easy to draw our strength and validation from women.  We can be the rock to steady their unstable childhood.  We become the shoulder to cry on in a cruel world.  We are the world’s greatest lover, satisfying her in every way.


It’s a seductive whisper to our masculinity.  She needs us, and we depend on her to validate us.  “You’re so strong.  You’re the best.  I don’t know what I’d do without you.”


When we depend on her for our validation, eventually we will fail.  When we allow our beauty to affirm our masculinity, we give them permission to revoke it as well.  John Eldredge says, “When we take our question to the woman, what happens is either addiction or emasculation.  Usually both.”


We become addicted because we need her to reassure us, to tell us we have what it takes.  We are emasculated when we back down, doing anything to appease her so that she won’t take that validation away.  But eventually, our strength will run out.  We despair being exposed, and, like a brick wall falling onto a flower, suffocate the one we are trying to protect.  

Questions to consider


  • How would the women in your life describe you?



  • Look back at the women you dated.  What attracted you to them?  What drove you apart?



  • What is one thing you can do to pursue the heart of your Beauty?










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